It is a syntax nightmare putting together the word relationship with failure, much less putting healthy in front of the first word. Instinctively, we are hardwired to flee from the presence of failure since it is anything but pleasurable.
In the 40th episode of The Root of All Business, “Fail Coach” Miha Matlievski shared his experiences that offer a new perspective on the subject.
At 18, Matlievski was a highschool drop-out but 12 years of hard work resulted in four successful businesses and a personal net worth of $15M. That very same year, he lost all his businesses and was left with debt that amounted to $5M. After a tumultuous time dealing with depression, he started to see past the failure and acknowledged his flaws and the areas where he was lacking in knowledge or skills. Equipped with his new skills and knowledge, he engaged in business again and managed to earn multiple 8-figures in the first year to multiple 9-figures in the next. Shortly after that, he retired and started to mentor young entrepreneurs, teaching them to embrace failure.
Developing a healthy relationship with failure does not happen overnight. It’s an accumulation of all the little things that we do in order to make a comeback from such a predicament. And this all comes down to how we perceive failure.
Having a Healthy Relationship with Failure requires a Shift in Mindset
As human beings we become aversive of the things that do not benefit us. In normal circumstances, we cannot see failure benefiting us. It causes us shame, embarrassment or worse, puts us in debt. It seems contradictory, trying to see failure in a positive light, but when you think about it, we learn to react to failure the way we do because we learned through experience, to act that way. If that’s the case, then we can be assured that we can also learn to react differently, so instead of shame and embarrassment, we learn to feel driven to improve in dealing with failure.
Failure as an Indicator of Improvement
Changing the way we think about failure from something that is completely negative into a necessary indicator for improvement is a result of a mindset shift. This way,we give ourselves room to evaluate mistakes that lead to failure.
One of the things neglected by entrepreneurs who are just starting out is building a good foundation. This can mean a variety of things but it can also be as easy as employing a mindset that is aimed towards a healthy relationship with failure. When this kind of mindset is your foundation, you become more daring with your ideas because you’re not afraid to fail anymore. You’re now seeing failure as a tool that points out your mistakes which will help you reach success faster.
Speaking of comfort zones, don’t be afraid to seek help or ask for a second opinion when you’re stuck with a problem with no solution in sight. There is also the fact that we have a personal attachment with our businesses which clouds our judgement to see the problem objectively thus, impeding us from coming up with the right solution.
Your WHY will fuel your desire to have a healthy relationship with failure
Having a healthy relationship with failure is a lot of work since it’s not a one time, big-time thing. It’s a constant, conscious endeavor that affects both cognition and behavior. Now that you’ve taken the first steps towards that healthy relationship with failure, you need to keep going in that direction. This is where your WHY comes in. Clearly stating and staying true to your business’ purpose/s will boost the drive towards developing a healthy relationship with failure and pave the way to success.
Recovering from a setback is difficult but we must overcome our harmful views on failure for us to be able to move forward. With utmost commitment to our purposes, we must strive towards developing a healthy relationship with failure for the more we fail, the more opportunities we have