Life is a mixed bag of chips, you think you'll get a great flavour and consistent one at that, but you never do. Instead, you get those sour, burned, crisp ones that leave a bad taste in your mouth from time to time. If I told someone about how pathetic I was in school, no one would believe me. They haven't seen the struggle and the peaks and mountains I had to climb.
I was a shy kid at school with zero confidence, and little command of British English didn't help either. As a result, I didn't know how to make a conversation, avoiding most interactions. I tried so hard not to get noticed that I became a loner. I even spoke as lowkey as possible when I needed to because I feared that everyone would ridicule me again. All I wanted was to go invisible and not have to deal with it. How could I ever get out of this predicament and change my life, you wonder? Well, let me share my story.
Love Thy Reading and Your Toastmaster Membership
Now that I look back on everything, everything happens for a reason. Being bullied at school and not living the life I wanted to helped me discover the amazing magical world of books. It helped me transcend my predicament into a world of great stories and imagination, adding sparkle and colour to my otherwise dull life.
One day I learned about toastmasters from one of the attendees at a self-development event, and I knew I should join. But my shyness, compounded by my school experiences, made me petrified of speaking to or in front of strangers. How would I ever talk among a group of people? It took me almost a year to muster up the courage to join toastmasters, which was one of the best decisions of my life.
With the confidence I gained from toastmasters and reading self-development books, I explored the world of self-development further and found other people who loved books and were keen on becoming the best version of themselves. Now I had so much to talk about for the first time in my life. I realized then that these individuals appreciated my love for books at such a young age and encouraged me every time I discussed a new book. This experience changed my life!
Their company boosted my confidence further. So much so that now I could narrate snippets of what I read in a significant way and share ideas. For the first time, people noticed me enough that they were interested in listening to me. It was now time to go to the next level And that's where my journey takes me to travel.
Backpacking Australia
It is still a wonder how I decided to travel alone as I was at the lowest in my life before it. It was hard not having any friends who wanted to travel and a constant state of feeling down. I wanted something to change that but didn't know what I wanted. Probably I got the idea that I wanted to explore the world and relive those stories like in the books, or probably I wanted to go far away from home where no one would know me.
I made a whole plan for travelling to Australia, New Zealand, Asia, the USA and Europe, staying and backpacking for a year in each. An adventure was calling out to me, and I felt ready for it. And what a plan it was, I came back after spending just four days in Australia. Never in my life had I accounted for homesickness. I had no idea that so many emotions and experiences would flood me the moment I landed. I panicked and was super nervous as I had never travelled alone.
It was the worst feeling afterwards. I never wanted to feel this helpless again. But I knew II had to do something, so I did an NLP course to master my emotions. From there on I knew instead of a big, bold plan, I needed to get outside of my comfort zone one step at a time. Shorter trips alone, going out more often.
Loving My Company
After the failure of my Grand Plan and working on shorter trips, I slowly gained more confidence. Now I started grasping at every opportunity to enjoy the things I loved. I didn't need anyone's approval or attention. I removed ties almost with everyone, especially friends and family who brought toxicity in my life. I didn't need that. The prime reason behind it was that I developed my personality around things I loved to do. Become the person you would love to hang with and be admired by yourself, which generally you would look onto others for. I never got lost.
Learned a Lot Through Meditation
To become a more calm and collected meditation, was the perfect way to achieve this. Not only did it change me mentally also a spiritual journey started, which I will share more in-depth in another article.
I had already learned to stay on my own, spend time with me and hang with myself. To others, it might seem silent, like in an awkward date where both parties don't know what to say to each other. But in actuality, I was constantly communicating with myself for this I loved to do. I finally connected with myself and knew what I wanted. I learned to teach myself the ability to be more present. No wonder so many great people think so highly of meditation. The journey to conquer the world starts with conquering yourself, which couldn't be done without knowing yourself and making bold decisions.